IS bans pigeon breeding – punishable by public flogging – because seeing birds’ genitals overhead offends Islam

Yeah.

Senior clerics fighting for the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq have issued a diktat banning pigeon breeding as they claim the sight of the birds’ genitals as they fly overhead is offensive to Islam.

Jihadis operating in the group’s ‘Euphrates province’, which stretches from Anbar in Iraq to Dier ez Zour in Syria, told pigeon breeders they had one week to stop the practice or face public flogging.

The announcement isn’t the first time ISIS has targeted the apparently blasphemous practice of pigeon breeding – a popular pastime in the Middle East.

Earlier this year it was claimed that 15 boys had been arrested and at least three of them executed by ISIS militants in Iraq’s eastern Diyala governate after fighters took exception to their pigeon breeding hobby on the grounds that it stopped them spending their time worshipping Allah.

The solution is clear: pigeons must be made to wear burkas, when out in public, flying around etc. In the privacy of their nests, they can be unclothed, as long as no-one else is around, to see them naked. 😉

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11 thoughts on “IS bans pigeon breeding – punishable by public flogging – because seeing birds’ genitals overhead offends Islam

    • No, indeed (though I don’t know that the original Puritans were as bad as Victorians, who covered table and chair legs to avoid suggestivity).

  1. In order for pigeons not to offend Allah, nor to countermand the directives of Mohammed (praised be the prophet’s name!), all pigeons in the Euphrates Province henceforth will be fitted with codpieces. Modest codpieces that is. Without colorings or drawings or inscriptions on them, if you don’t mind. Codpieces that will not offend the delicate sight of Allah.

    The angel Gabriel told me to write this. So get busy.

    Cheers.

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