Putting the ‘colon’ back in ‘colonialism’…

‘World’s longest’ fossilized dinosaur turd being auctioned for $10,000

From the article, a charming photo, to illustrate its length:


Poo fans across the world are in for a treat – the ‘world’s longest’ fossilised dinosaur faeces has gone on sale for a mere £5,840.

Measuring in at an ‘eye-watering 40 inches’, or ten Mars bars, the coprolite was produced by an unknown beast that undoubtedly had a hard time squeezing it out.

The following description of the dinosaur dropping will either make you happy, or sick to your stomach, depending on how you feel about animal excrement.

‘It boasts a wonderfully even, pale brown-yellow colouring and terrifically detailed texture to the heavily botryoidal surface across the whole of its immense length,’ said Josh Chait, spokesman for Beverly Hills auctioneers I.M. Chait.

He added: ‘The passer of this remarkable object is unknown, but it is nonetheless a highly evocative specimen of unprecedented size, presented in four sections, each with a heavy black marble custom base, an eye-watering 40 inches in length overall.’

I’m glad the dinosaurs went extinct, not only because they’d kill us and eat us if we had to co-exist with them, but imagine the smells, and accidentally stepping in their shit…