H.P. Lovecraft’s poem ‘Nemesis’ set to the tune of Billy Joel’s song ‘Piano Man’

Someone Realized An HP Lovecraft Poem Maps Perfectly to Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” You can guess what happened next.

julianvelard

The internet made me do it. H.P Lovecraft’s Nemesis mashed up with Billy Joel’s Piano Man. Had to cut a couple lines to get it to fit. Sorry H.P.!

Lyrics:

Thro’ the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-moon’d abysses of night,
I have liv’d o’er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

I have whirl’d with the earth at the dawning,
When the sky was a vaporous flame:
I have seen the dark universe yawning,
Where the black planets roll without aim;
Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.

I had drifted o’er seas without ending,
Under sinister grey-clouded skies
That the many-fork’d lightning is rending,
That resound with hysterical cries;
With the moans of invisible daemons that out of the green waters rise.

I have plung’d like a deer thro’ the arches
Of the hoary primoridal grove,
Where the oaks feel the presence that marches
And stalks on where no spirit dares rove;

I have stumbled by cave-ridden mountains
That rise barren and bleak from the plain,
I have drunk of the fog-foetid fountains
That ooze down to the marsh and the main;And in hot cursed tarns I have seen things I care not to gaze on again.

I have scann’d the vast ivy-clad palace,
I have trod its untenanted hall,
Where the moon writhing up from the valleys
Shews the tapestried things on the wall;
Strange figures discordantly woven, which I cannot endure to recall.

I have peer’d from the casement in wonder
At the mouldering meadows around,
At the many-roof’d village laid under
The curse of a grave-girdled ground;

I have haunted the tombs of the ages,
I have flown on the pinions of fear
Where the smoke-belching Erebus rages,
Where the jokulls loom snow-clad and drear:
And in realms where the sun of the desert consumes what it never can cheer.

I was old when the Pharaohs first mounted
The jewel-deck’d throne by the Nile;
I was old in those epochs uncounted
When I, and I only, was vile;

Oh, great was the sin of my spirit,
And great is the reach of its doom;
Not the pity of Heaven can cheer it,
Nor can respite be found in the tomb:
Down the infinite aeons come beating the wings of unmerciful gloom.

Thro’ the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-moon’d abysses of night,
I have liv’d o’er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

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Yet there were no legends about parthogenesis, funny, eh?

The Festival of Patience

There are not enough words

dedicated to geckos

who move in the manner of dancers

and eat with the voracity of gluttons

They climb the dark walls of my room and

I drifting off to sleep dream the same dream

my ancestors did with them grown

to godlike size able to impart

wisdom and malevolence in equal measures

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Cheese Curd for Bait, by James McIntyre

Cheese is the New Cool

Cheese Curd for Bait

 

The following adventure was participated in by Mr. J. Podmore and Mr. W. D. Grant at Matheson’s Cold Spring Cheese Factory in Zorra, 1888.

 

Cheese buyers in hours of leisure

Combine business with pleasure,

And when they wish to go abroad

They take their gun and fishing rod.

 

This tale is true we pledge our word,

They baited hook with a piece of curd,

And let the rod hang from the boat,

While curd and hook on pond did float.

 

And then they start for sport and fun,

To try their luck with the shot gun,

And quick they raised from their cover,

Then brought low eight brace of plover.

 

Now to the pond they do return,

But loss of rod they have to mourn,

They see it rushing through the water,

And wonder what can be the matter.

 

But…

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A Sensitive Man Session Ale

A Sensitive Man Label
 This beer oughta be worth some poems.

“Warning: Contains Fart and Horse Piss”.

You have to admit that as a marketing strategy, Prince Edward County’s Barley Days Brewery might have wanted to think about that label a bit.

At least that would be in the ordinary beer market. But Greg Landucci’s market, for this beer at least, is not the ordinary light summer ale drinker. ‘A Sensitive Man’ beer will appeal to folks who ‘get’ the literary references – for people who know and love the poetry of one Al Purdy, a national icon who just happened to spend most of his writing years in Ameliasburgh, Prince Edward County.

The well-known Purdy poem ‘At the Quinte Hotel’ was the inspiration for the label.

See here for the poem, along with a video with a reading by Gord Downie and part by Al Purdy himself.

Barley Days owner Chris Rogers, brewer Alex Nichols and sales manager Greg Landucci were inspired to brew the beer and offer it as a fund-raiser to the Al Purdy A-frame Association, because, as Greg says, “Al had strong roots in the County and we want to help keep his legacy alive. And let’s face it, he liked his beer.” Admittedly, there is a nice resonance.

Barley Days Brewery will donate $1 for every six-pack sold, to the APAFA, to support ongoing A-frame restoration, and the writer in residence program. The beer will be ready by July 25; it will be available at Barley Days and on tap at select locations.

For more information – visit the Barley Days website to find out about ‘A Sensitive Man’ and the line-up of other fine ales, lagers and stout.

Actually, it’s not currently listed at their website yet (though that may change), but it is on their facebook page.

For ‘A Sensitive Man’ Greg obtained permission to use that famous Krieger caricature of Al –  plaid pants, pocket protector, huge glasses and flying white hair.

Cool. Definitely going to try me some. 🙂