English Company Sells Zombie-Proof Log Cabins

Gotta be ready for the Zombie Apocalypse! 😉

If you believe a zombie apocalypse is imminent, then you probably should be doing everything you can to protect yourself. Luckily, a British firm called Tiger Log Cabins has just the product for you. They’ve created the world’s first zombie-proof log cabin, designed to withstand the worst zombie attacks imaginable.

The cabin is called ZFC-1 (ZFC stands for Zombie Fortification Cabin), and it is guaranteed to protect you from the walking dead for at least 10 years. It is surrounded by barbed wire and is equipped with an escape hatch, a storage unit for weaponry, and an upper deck with a 360-degree vantage point to keep an eye out for approaching zombies.

The ZFC-1 consists of three sections, all of which are independent from each other with two lockable doors securing each area. So if a zombie were to breach the main large section, it would have to get through three very securely locked doors. The material used to build the cabin are supposed to be of the highest quality, with glazing that is factory siliconed and internally beaded to all doors and windows. Zombies wouldn’t even be able to climb on to the roof, thanks to the square cut logs at the edges of the cabin.

Of course, there’s no way to test if the product is really effective against zombies or not. The small print reads: “Please note – we require medical evidence of the presence of a real zombie should you wish to claim under the 10-year anti zombie guarantee.”

Medical evidence? Do they want to catch the infection themselves? 😉

John Baird reacts to Raelian intergalactic embassy proposal

Hilarious.

Press conference – An Embassy to welcome an extraterrestrial civilization: the Raelians will file a formal application to the Canadian Government!

OTTAWA, June 2nd 2014 /CNW/ – On Wednesday, June 4, 2014, representatives of the International Raelian Movement in Canada will officially hand over the project file for the construction of the Embassy of Elohim to the Canadian Government.

Just saw the proposal for a ‘Raelian Embassy’ and interplanetary hub in Canada. I hereby appoint @deepakobhrai as intergalactic ambassador.

— John Baird (@HonJohnBaird) June 5, 2014

@HonJohnBaird accepted

— Deepak Obhrai (@deepakobhrai) June 5, 2014

In response to a request from CBC News, ministerial press secretary @adamihodge explained that, “although tempting due to the promises of long term jobs and economic growth, sadly, current Canadian law is that only representatives of another state or an international organization can have diplomatic status in Canada – there is no mention of extraterrestrial entities.”

“And, to the best of our knowledge, they don’t make red license plates big enough for space ships,” he added.

That doesn’t mean the door is entirely closed to further negotiations, however.

“If the ‘Elohim’ would like to make themselves known to us,” Hodge told CBC News, “We would be happy to schedule a coffee meeting to discuss the potential for a new GMAP – Galactic Markets Action Plan.”

Of course, we already knew that John Baird has a great sense of humour; witness how he reacted to Pat Martin here:

U.S. military ready for a zombie invasion

Patriactionary

Or so they hope :

The US military has drawn up plans to fight off an invasion of “evil magic zombies” and other forms of the undead.

Prefaced with the disclaimer “this plan was not actually designed as a joke”, CONPLAN 8888 lays out a strategy “to undertake military operations to preserve ‘non-zombie’ humans from threats posed by a zombie horde”.

The 31-page document, obtained by Foreign Policy, lays out the eight types of zombie adversaries the US military may face in the event of an outbreak.

They range from space zombies to weaponised zombies and even vegetarian zombies, who eat plants rather than humans and groan “grains” instead of “brains”.

Don’t those already exist? They’re called ‘vegans’…

Although not strictly a joke, the document is intended as an exercise in drawing up planning documents for training purposes, rather than a real-life strategy.

Its authors noted that the general public…

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Edmonton ranked third-best Canadian city to survive zombie apocalypse

Good to know.

EDMONTON – A city of machete-wielding savages? More like the third best place in Canada to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Edmonton engineer Michael Ross concluded that his hometown ranked among the best places in Canada to survive an undead uprising, based on factors such as average temperature, population density, physical fitness, distance to the nearest military base and rates of gun ownership.

Ross says he got the idea to rank Canadian cities for zombie survivability from a U.S. real estate website, and used data from Statistics Canada to determine the rankings.

The results, posted on his blog Extreme Enginerding, show St. John’s, N.L., in top spot for zombie survival, followed by Regina, then Edmonton. Calgary came 10th, and Windsor, Ont., closed the list at No. 20.

According to the ranking criteria, being close to a military base was a positive factor, since the armed forces could help suppress a zombie uprising. Frigid prairie winters were also counted as a boon, because, as Ross wrote on his blog: “If you’re dead and frozen solid, you’re less likely to be a threat than if you’re dead and flexible.”

How very rationalish. 🙂